I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
