my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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