Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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