i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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