how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
