You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
