I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize