I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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