there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
