Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
