I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
