i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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