Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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