Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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