I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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