You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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