The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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