dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
