Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm like, not good at living.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
