these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
