i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
