How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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