They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
