The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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