'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
