I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
