have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
