If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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