its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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