Cold hands, warm shart.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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