This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
