guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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