Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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