So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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