I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
