Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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