Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He shit in the fireplace
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize