I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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