you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
