I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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