sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
