my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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