tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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