We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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