I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
