then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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