so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
