You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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