How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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