I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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