hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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