is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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