Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Found your dick twin last night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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