I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
