i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
