I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
