I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
