he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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