so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
