Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
