Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's a Shit stain on my heart
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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