I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize