google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
