All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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