so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
