I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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