We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
