Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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